I already won the lottery - I was born in the USA

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

I always carry knife in my purse in case of cheesecake

Life is like math

Working on a Saturday

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

Me overweight mom dresses too sexy

How exciting another closed door

I'm in no condition to drive - I shouldn't listen myself I'm drunk - Homer Simpson

The Calzones betrayed me

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me - The Office

I'm not mature enough for this

Why would religions lie? What would they have to gain? - The Simpsons

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

I've had it with you

You underestimate my power

My cat was right about you

Oh my God he's online. Can he see me?

You alone? Almost always - Arrested Development

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

Gay Interest - The Simpsons

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

Pants? You mean leg prisons

I'm dying

They could deep-fry my shirt - The Simpsons

It's actually whipped cocaine

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

All artists tend to be a bit weird

Starbucks - Simpsons

Ernest goes somewhere cheap - Simpsons

Stop dating my mother - The Office

Can I have some? - The Simpsons

Pika Pika - Pikachu

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

Run DOS Run - The Simpsons

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

[gets shot in spanish]

I wanna go back in mommy - Ralph Wiggum

Ventura? Yes Satan?

I did it to be amazing

The Springfield Police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys - The Simpsons

200 channels and nothing but cats

For real

What you read it's true - I'm a bitch

Stop dating my mother

I fucking trusted you

How do you make a pact with the Devil?

Unflattering test results

In Real Life There Is No Algebra

[chuckles uncomfortably]

I hate other people's love - Homer Simpson

[graduates in Spanish]

It's like a sauna in here

Silence is better than bullshit

They hate us cause they ain't us

Deja Poo

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

Because I have a masters degree in fierce

More that broken, he's alone

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

What were you so sad about?

Wow we really are bitches

Why can't I marry this pie?

Take me Garth

Please don't tell anyone how I live - The SImpsons

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

I have no words to describe this day

The best view comes after the hardest climb

Ross: You are both so lucky

You're worth it

69 - The Office

Wine in my cereal

I told her the only thing

Mom and Pop hardware - Simpsons

Silence is better that bullshit

No I cannot kill you today I have pilates

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

I'm multi slacking today

We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas - The Simpsons

I feel very welcome here

I'm a locksmith

Now entering Winnipeg

I'm this close to loosing my shit

I've destroyed my life

Drug-addled candor - Sheldon

I thrive off negativity

(japanese pop music plays)

Pool Sharks - Simpsons

We're basically just a cucumbers with anxiety

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

I don't give a fucker

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

This is so 1991 - The Simpsons

Owning your okayness - The Simpsons

Fuck Normality

i'm always one step ahead like carpenter that makes stairs

That is so gay - The Simpsons