You're like a blackjack dealer at the flavor town casino

[sobbing mathematically]

Metaphors? I hate metaphors

Hooked on a feline - Simpsons

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

Tear the bitch apart

I was normal three cats ago

Cheers

Who is Homer? - My name is Guy Incognito - The Simpsons

Loud full-hearted bitching

I can fix that

Take me Garth

a cup of galaxy

Wish you were here

Ross: You are both so lucky

Here's a phone - Call somebody who cares - The Simpsons

You're worth it

Nothing to wear

I'm ok, honest

A man with dreams needs a woman with vision

A little saucy, A little too saucy

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

I love a good nap

This isn't my daddy this is my father

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

Every time a couple gets married two single people die

I am the most offended by the easily offended

Why can't women parallel park?

This is just smoke and ash - Simpsons

49 stars on that flag

I just really wanna be fucked

There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed

I love quotes

[thinks of daddy in Spanish]

Meow

How exciting another closed door

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

Do wasps make honey?

The body doesn't know

Well one of us has to change

Be cool

[ignores you in Spanish]

Soulmate: someone who is happy to eat the pizza toppings you don't like

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

I'm saving my virginity for divorce

Dyslexia for cure found

You don't call retarded people retards it's a bad taste - You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded - The Office

Seems, I'm full of rage

I'm not like a boss - I'm the boss - Cat

Are you gonna argue with caps? - The Simpsons

I have absolutely no idea what's goin on - Homer Simpson

Life is hard, right? - Wrong! Life is easy! You suck

Grab that little hoe

Silence is better than bullshit

A man's gotta eat - Trailer Park Boys

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Is there life after birth?

[chuckles uncomfortably]

Marketing - Homer Simpson

Ralph you're not a kangaroo

Look look everyone! This is so funny!

Me overweight mom dresses too sexy

Bonjour Bitch

Could you speak up? I'm not wearing pants

I heard some guy said - Homer Simpson

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

Dr. Nick

You'll never forget to turn off the oven if you never turn it on

I am an outsider in all of my personal relationships

I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight - The Big Bang Theory

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

Everyone sucks but me

I must have like fallen on a bullet - The Simpsons

I love inside jokes - Love to be a part of one someday - The Office

I'm still cold - Abe Simpson

I miss my pre-internet brain

You people have been blisters on my taint

Working on a Saturday

Natural light! Get it off me! - The Simpsons

I have no words to describe this day

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

69 - The Office

[judges you in Spanish]

I don't give a fucker

We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas - The Simpsons

I feel very welcome here

I completely agree with myself

48 episodes later - The Simpsons

Morningwood Penitentiary - Simpsons

Pants? You mean leg prisons

Defference between puppet and muppet

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

I'm in no condition to drive - I shouldn't listen myself I'm drunk - Homer Simpson

Every day is like Halloween

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

Men are like plants

The world's first two story out-house