It's a great day for being sad

Deja Poo

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

I'm a locksmith

I'm not a slut but who knows?

If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Someone will die - Of fun

Everyone sucks but me

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

So far so good sorta

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

I love you to, Daddy

I heard some guy said - Homer Simpson

Fuck Your Guns

I only lied because it was the easiest way - Bart Simpson

Reverend Lovejoy pizza delivery

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy - Simpsons

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

Bort Simpson

We're basically just a cucumbers with anxiety

The best view comes after the hardest climb

[ignores you in Spanish]

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

Stay back, slut

My fear is that PMS doesn't exist

Laughing - Crying

Natural light! Get it off me! - The Simpsons

Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop

Scissor me - The Office

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

Unicorn - Michael Scott

I'm multi slacking today

Keep Calm and Burn Everything

Dr. Nick

What kind of slut are you?

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me - The Office

Thinking isn't going to get us anywhere

I don't think I feel well

Do not touch WIlly - The Simpsons

No, thats just what they'll be expecting us to do

Would a coward have this?

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

Is there life after birth?

I just had the most beautiful dream where I died - Apu

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic - The Simpsons

Not today old friend - Moe Szyslak - The Simpsons

Pants? You mean leg prisons

Wow we really are bitches

Jim tell him where he can stick his grapes

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

Walking sucks

Unflattering test results

48 episodes later - The Simpsons

We're not only proud about that, we're smug about it

I consider myself a professional masturbator

69 - The Office

I heard that, you bitch

Don't even care

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

In Real Life There Is No Algebra

No smoking in bars what's next?

You're the judge - No I'm a bowl of fruit

Men are dirt!

I'm this close to loosing my shit

OK less gay

[onlookers booing]

Nothing to wear

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

I am the mack daddy

Some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing

I can't believe you came

Do you have to be so white all the time?

Too many assholes not enough bullets

I bring you love - Break it's legs - The Simpsons

I don't do well in situations

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

Men are like plants

Purple stuff inside donut is a fruit - The Simpsons

Lost Child - No Reward - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

I'm sickened but curious

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

I hate you!

El Barto is very fucking real

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

Fuck Normality

Dildo - The original selfie stick

I'm still cold - Abe Simpson

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

Springfield Psychiatric Center

You don't call retard people retard - Michael Scott

I'm not ashamed of my body - That's the problem

IDGAF - I don't give away food

I got nothing to lose

Am I just an asshole? - South Park

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

Why would you do that? - Ross

Machine Gun Fire Like Laugher

Meow