[softly] Don't - Michael Scott (The Office)

I don't do well in situations

Everybody's getting some but me

What were you so sad about?

I can fix that

What you read it's true - I'm a bitch

Scissor me - The Office

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

Who will love you? Who will fight?

Pippety poppety give me the zoppety

God thanks for nothing - Bart Simpson

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

My cat was right about you

Ernest goes somewhere cheap - Simpsons

Sad Girls Club

I'm a sign not a cop - Simpsons

The body doesn't know

I need a hug...e bottle of wine

I only logged on Facebook today to see who is driving the drama bus

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

When a pregnant woman swims she is a human submarine

i'm going to kill that whore

I'm dying

First I drink the coffee then I do the things

Pizza dammit! Get pizza!

I'm saving my virginity for divorce

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

No Soliciting

The center of a donut is 100% fat free

Plastic surgery center - Simpsons

Wine in my cereal

Would a coward have this?

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Dad do you wear boxers or briefs? - No - The Simpsons

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

You have homosexual hair

Live each day like it was your last - The Simpsons

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

Can I have some? - The Simpsons

A UFO party

Melon Collie - The Simpsons

I see basic bitches

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

This is the lake - The Office

You're a bad habit

Marge it's 3 am, shouldn't you be baking - The Simpsons

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

Local Man Thinks Wrestling is Real

I'm gonna go talk to some food about this

You didn't cry when Babmi's mother died?

Can't they get a pole for that sign? - Simpsons

I got nothing to lose

To poor decisions - The Simpsons

High as a kite

Jolly Gummibears

Be inspired - Be inspiring

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

Marketing - Homer Simpson

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

Run DOS Run - The Simpsons

I hate you!

Be kind to everyone including yourself

One, two, three - The Office

I can't stand the sound of the human voice

No, thats just what they'll be expecting us to do

Now entering Winnipeg

Are you gonna argue with caps? - The Simpsons

Get rich or drunk trying

I am the most offended by the easily offended

Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common

I wish I could be a cat

Drink Your Problems Away

I love you - Thank you

You're worth it

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

It's like a sauna in here

These girls belong to me

I told her the only thing

People what a bunch of bastards

He's so hot I have to kill him

Parent teacher night - Let's share the blame - Simpsons

Listen and Believe

Life is like math

[ignores you in Spanish]

For real

You can't have any fun in bed - The Simpsons

The world's first two story out-house

Straight Outta Shape

gets shot in spanish

Dishes! We meet again you dirty bastards!

Not today old friend - Moe Szyslak - The Simpsons

If you want to be happy - Don't think

A man's gotta eat - Trailer Park Boys

We're old enough to smell bad

[graduates in Spanish]

I love you to, Daddy

I'm not like a boss - I'm the boss - Cat

Sometimes I need to be alone with my music

[chuckles uncomfortably]

Starbucks - Simpsons

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing