Congratulations universe you win - The Office

Animal Hospital - The animals are the patients - Community

Fuck Normality

Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop

We're not only proud about that, we're smug about it

Bitch who asked you? - A bitch who didn't asked you

IDGAF - I don't give away food

I told her the only thing

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

So it was you who made the floor slippery

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

Drug-addled candor - Sheldon

This is so 1991 - The Simpsons

I've had it with you

Find Balance

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

You're worth it

I wish I could be a cat

Unisex - Joey Tribbiani

I was born in the wrong generation

IDGAF = I don't give away food

How do you make a pact with the Devil?

I sing way too much for someone who can't sing

Wow, I have a lot of people to disappoint

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

I love quotes

I am so angry

Here's to respecting women

I feel very welcome here

By the way I faked every orgasm

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

Pika Pika - Pikachu

Natural light! Get it off me! - The Simpsons

Keep Calm and Burn Everything

Chill, Homie. You need to let that shit go - Buddha

I hate when people remember my name - Because then it's like I'm supposed to remember their name

Be cool

Dildo - The original selfie stick

hey potato chips come out I want to eat you

I finally bought myself a Plasma TV

You look very rich in that - Thanks

You're basic

I'm dying

I'm this close to loosing my shit

I'm not indecisive - I just can't decide

Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom

If you fall - I'll be there - Floor

Super Nintendo Chalmers

The body doesn't know

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

I noticed you're wearing open-toed shoes - Since when did you become a whore? - Dwight Schrute

Live each day like it was your last - The Simpsons

i've made my choice - Homer

Go buy yourself some more money

[softly] Don't - Michael Scott (The Office)

I'm funny right? What do you know? You're a door

It's called satchel - Indiana Jones wears one

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

Model UN - Simpsons

[doesn't give a single fuck about your opinion in spanish]

Oh my gosh! Look! It's food!

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy - Simpsons

How the fuck can a peanut kill someone, it's not even a person

I'm a sign not a cop - Simpsons

We ought to be partying not fighting

I completely agree with myself

I can't believe how easy it is to get cigarettes in this country - The Simpsons

If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job

I'm not punk bitch

You respect dibs don't you?

Would a coward have this?

Cradle of Filth I presume that's a band - IT Crowd

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere

I'm not like most girls?

I've made a huge mistake

Silence is better that bullshit

Scissor me - The Office

I hate the public so much - Homer Simpson

Grab that little hoe

Realize how blessed you are

Bitch you ok?

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

Sitting in a tree

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

I've destroyed my life

You're pretty much my most favorite of all time in the history of ever

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Your boobs are dead

No I cannot kill you today I have pilates

Why can't I marry this pie?

Rakes my old arch-enemy

Every day is like Halloween

Messy top, tidy bottom

I so need lessons from you on how to be cool

I hate men but I'm not a lesbian

I'm not anti-social - I'm anti-idiot

Owning your okayness - The Simpsons

Are you gonna argue with caps? - The Simpsons