Ralph you're not a kangaroo

Pool Sharks - Simpsons

How exciting another closed door

Actually that was the sound of me eating spaghetti

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

Fuck Your Guns

Look look everyone! This is so funny!

Doctor Ross Geller

I did it to be amazing

The Springfield Police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys - The Simpsons

I've destroyed my life

Funny Dog To Make Life Worthwhile - Simpsons

You dumped a porn star? - Friendship over!

I noticed you're wearing open-toed shoes - Since when did you become a whore? - Dwight Schrute

Where did you learn all of this? - Internet

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

Being an adult is terrible

Here's to respecting women

Can't you just kind of fuck off?

Before calling me ask yourself - Is this textable?

Hooked on a feline - Simpsons

You people have been blisters on my taint

Apart from sleeping I'm always on the internet

I got nothing to lose

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

Bitch you ok?

If you want to be happy - Don't think

I have to go before I put your head through a wall

I just had the most beautiful dream where I died - Apu

You're worth it

Look everyone! This is so funny!

The worst day of your life so far - Simpsons

You'll never forget to turn off the oven if you never turn it on

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

I am the most offended by the easily offended

No Soliciting

U-R-Gay - The Simpsons

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

You underestimate my power

Messy top, tidy bottom

A man's gotta eat - Trailer Park Boys

I was normal three cats ago

Polish Hip Hop Playing

I don't do well in situations

How do you make a pact with the Devil?

Her name is The Barefoot Contessa

I'm married - I can wear whatever I want

I just really wanna be fucked

I'm so happy you're eating again

I've made a huge mistake

Do not read the next sentence

Run DOS Run - The Simpsons

She was a lawyer he was a sandwich

[calls sugar daddy]

Why can't I marry this pie?

Parent teacher night - Let's share the blame - Simpsons

Thank you, alcohol

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink

Keep Calm and Burn Everything

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

Poop backwards is poop

Fight the power - Simpsons

Look at me I'm a grad student - The Simpsons

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

Poop my pants - The Office

Ernest goes somewhere cheap - Simpsons

Bort Simpson

Deja Poo

Model UN - Simpsons

More that broken, he's alone

I'm not anti-social - I'm anti-idiot

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

Metaphors? I hate metaphors

That is so gay - The Simpsons

Everyone sucks but me

Hillary's husband

Laughing - Crying

Every day is like Halloween

I'm dying

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

My cat was right about you

I see basic bitches

I like being alone too much

Be inspired - Be inspiring

Regret

What is it asshole day?

I am so angry

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

I always carry knife in my purse in case of cheesecake

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

Talk means trouble - Don't talk

[gets shot in spanish]

My fear is that PMS doesn't exist

You familiar with that face?

Silence and Money

This is the lake - The Office