Ross doing his "watching tv"

You dumped a porn star? - Friendship over!

Drinks milk angrily

Unisex - Joey Tribbiani

This isn't my daddy this is my father

Seems, I'm full of rage

Grab that little hoe

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

Pika Pika - Pikachu

Would a coward have this?

Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common

[kills you in Spanish]

My anxieties have anxieties

Machine Gun Fire Like Laugher

I'm dying

My anxieties have anxieties

I'm not indecisive - I just can't decide

Bitch who asked you? - A bitch who didn't asked you

Pants? You mean leg prisons

I'm a good noodle

I wish I could be a cat

69 - The Office

Yoga? Isn't that a cult?

Stay back, slut

Summer is awful

I'm alone and I love it

The Calzones betrayed me

[ignores you in Spanish]

Europe puts Greece on ebay

Well one of us has to change

49 stars on that flag

Lost Child - No reward - Simpsons

You-are-gay - Uruguay - Homer Simpson

I noticed you're wearing open-toed shoes - Since when did you become a whore? - Dwight Schrute

No Soliciting

Loud full-hearted bitching

Homer are you wearing a tie to impress Laddie?

The best view comes after the hardest climb

I just really wanna be fucked

It's actually whipped cocaine

Doctor Ross Geller

In the end being lazy at home is the best

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

Hey I cook! - Offering people gum is not cooking

People who use a lot of swear words

I'm funny right? What do you know? You're a door

Nothing to wear

Put the mind control into the country music

Sad Girls Club

If you're thinking what I'm thinking you need professional help

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy - Simpsons

Everybody's getting some but me

Regret

The body doesn't know

Seriously all you do is bitch

The Springfield Police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys - The Simpsons

IDGAF - I don't give away food

Is there life after birth?

Get rich or drunk trying

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

Follow your dreams - Doge

Look at me - I'm captain now

What position is this? - The American Taxpayer - The Simpsons

Please don't throw garbage at me - The Office

Die Bart Die

Do wasps make honey?

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

Dyslexia for cure found

So far so good sorta

This is uncool - X-Files

Here's a phone - Call somebody who cares - The Simpsons

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

Look look everyone! This is so funny!

You respect dibs don't you?

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

Cigarette? - Yes, I know

gets shot in spanish

I have absolutely no idea what's goin on - Homer Simpson

[graduates in Spanish]

Every time a couple gets married two single people die

I love you - Thank you

Defference between puppet and muppet

All artists tend to be a bit weird

My job here is done - But you didn't do anything

Straight Outta Shape

I fucking trusted you

[chuckles uncomfortably]

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

He's so hot I have to kill him

OK less gay

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

Why would you do that? - Ross

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

Men are dirt!

Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic - The Simpsons

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink

Look at me I'm a grad student - The Simpsons