Marge it's 3 am, shouldn't you be baking - The Simpsons

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

Jolly Gummibears

Pool Sharks - Simpsons

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere

You're the judge - No I'm a bowl of fruit

Been there regretted that

Come on Scully it'll be a nice trip to the forest

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

I only logged on Facebook today to see who is driving the drama bus

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

Jim, I'm not easy to manage

Hillary's husband

You-are-gay - Uruguay - Homer Simpson

I've had it with you

Seriously all you do is bitch

I love you - Thank you

This is the lake - The Office

You don't call retarded people retards it's a bad taste - You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded - The Office

I wanna go back in mommy - Ralph Wiggum

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

Stay back, slut

Justin - Zach interview

Regret

[screams internally]

Polish Hip Hop Playing

I must have like fallen on a bullet

Your boobs are dead

To start press any key - The Simpsons

You respect dibs don't you?

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

I'm just normal functioning member of the human race

I'm saving my virginity for divorce

You're like a blackjack dealer at the flavor town casino

One, two, three - The Office

I can fix that

Get me a vodka rocks - Arrested Development

At least you tried - The Simpsons

This is uncool - X-Files

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

I hate when people remember my name - Because then it's like I'm supposed to remember their name

Super Nintendo Chalmers

Here's to respecting women

Springfield little league park - Simpsons

i'm always one step ahead like carpenter that makes stairs

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

For real

Owning your okayness - The Simpsons

u smell like dog poo

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

The best view comes after the hardest climb

Party Hardy it's Friday

My ideal girl is a female who is interested in men

I love quotes

Last name Jazz. First name Hugh - The Simpsons

We have unlimited juice?

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

I got nothing to lose

Drug-addled candor - Sheldon

Silence and Money

You're pretty much my most favorite of all time in the history of ever

It's a fashion risk but I like it

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

[regrets prior life choices]

The Springfield Police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys - The Simpsons

Look at me - I'm captain now

We're not only proud about that, we're smug about it

49 stars on that flag

Loud full-hearted bitching

Realize how blessed you are

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

I'm a locksmith

Pizza dammit! Get pizza!

It's like a sauna in here

Am I out of touch? - Skinner

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

Nothing to wear

a cup of galaxy

I am an outsider in all of my personal relationships

Me overweight mom dresses too sexy

Dr. Nick

Dildo - The original selfie stick

Wine in my cereal

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Can I have some? - The Simpsons

You're too easily offended - I can't believe you just said that

Dreams don't work unless you do

Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent

I'm gonna go talk to some food about this

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

The body doesn't know

Stop dating my mother

Your tears say more than real evidence ever could

I see basic bitches

I'm a sign not a cop - Simpsons

I hate you!

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman

Do wasps make honey?