This is just smoke and ash - Simpsons

You guys from Florida?

You're too easily offended - I can't believe you just said that

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

You're the judge - No I'm a bowl of fruit

Apart from sleeping I'm always on the internet

I'm not like a boss - I'm the boss - Cat

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

I'm so happy and not at all jelous

We're all homos - Homo sapiens - The Office

Actually that was the sound of me eating spaghetti

Machine Gun Fire Like Laugher

My job here is done - But you didn't do anything

Wish you were here

You underestimate my power

I finally bought myself a Plasma TV

[judges you in Spanish]

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

How exciting another closed door

I hate men but I'm not a lesbian

Working on a Saturday

TGIF

Meow

Is there life after birth?

What is the national language of the United States? - Third grade english

How often have you drove past a fire and thought "how can this benefit me?"

Run DOS Run - The Simpsons

All artists tend to be a bit weird

My anxieties have anxieties

Ross doing his "watching tv"

I want to destroy the white devil

I'm multi slacking today

[crowd booing]

Poop backwards is poop

I'm just normal functioning member of the human race

We're old enough to smell bad

Someone's gonna end up crying. Probably me.

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

Men are like plants

We ought to be partying not fighting

dat holy ass

Please don't tell anyone how I live - The Simpsons

Elephant Child Born

I love inside jokes - Love to be a part of one someday - The Office

We're basically just a cucumbers with anxiety

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

I'm ok, honest

[onlookers booing]

Who is Homer? - My name is Guy Incognito - The Simpsons

I consider myself a professional masturbator

Summer is awful

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

You people have been blisters on my taint

Everybody's getting some but me

You can't have any fun in bed - The Simpsons

I'm still cold - Abe Simpson

Been there regretted that

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

Rakes my old arch-enemy

Nothing to wear

U-R-Gay - The Simpsons

Purple stuff inside donut is a fruit - The Simpsons

You-are-gay - Uruguay - Homer Simpson

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

These girls belong to me

People say "money doesn't grow on trees"

You don't call retarded people retards it's a bad taste - You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded - The Office

Sometimes I need to be alone with my music

Springfield little league park - Simpsons

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

Metaphors? I hate metaphors

Are you gonna argue with caps? - The Simpsons

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

Dildo - The original selfie stick

Straight Outta Shape

I need a hug...e bottle of wine

High as a kite

How do you make a pact with the Devil?

Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom

You're pretty much my most favorite of all time in the history of ever

My fear is that PMS doesn't exist

I just really wanna be fucked

I am an outsider in all of my personal relationships

Owning your okayness - The Simpsons

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

[screams internally]

First I drink the coffee then I do the things

200 channels and nothing but cats

What is it asshole day?

What position is this? - The American Taxpayer - The Simpsons

69 - The Office

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

Love is caring for each other even when you're angry

49 stars on that flag

Funny Dog To Make Life Worthwhile - Simpsons

I can't believe you came

Talk means trouble - Don't talk