Take me out of what?

Dildo - The original selfie stick

Morningwood Penitentiary - Simpsons

Please don't throw garbage at me - The Office

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

Why can't women parallel park?

This is just smoke and ash - Simpsons

Where did you learn all of this? - Internet

I hate my life - Fry

Look everyone! This is so funny!

Look at me I'm a grad student - The Simpsons

Get rich or drunk trying

Do not touch WIlly - The Simpsons

I have to go before I put your head through a wall

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

Now I have to face stupid reality again - Simpsons

We're old enough to smell bad

OK less gay

[screams internally]

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

I love a good nap

I only logged on Facebook today to see who is driving the drama bus

Chill, Homie. You need to let that shit go - Buddha

How often have you drove past a fire and thought "how can this benefit me?"

What were you so sad about?

I'm not mature enough for this

Jim tell him where he can stick his grapes

I finally bought myself a Plasma TV

I love you - Thank you

You can't live a positive life with a negative mind

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

Purple stuff inside donut is a fruit - The Simpsons

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

Fuck Your Guns

Oh my god! It's a flip phone!

So far so good sorta

Thinking isn't going to get us anywhere

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

I heard that, you bitch

People are so fucking annoying

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

I'm not ashamed of my body - That's the problem

The world's first two story out-house

Fight the power - Simpsons

91% of all traffic accidents - Simpsons

People say "money doesn't grow on trees"

You can't have any fun in bed - The Simpsons

Ventura? Yes Satan?

Seriously all you do is bitch

Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common

I've tried hitting it - I've tried yelling at it - The Simpsons

You have homosexual hair

Defference between puppet and muppet

Mom and Pop hardware - Simpsons

Bonjour Bitch

Look look everyone! This is so funny!

I am not nice

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

I must have like fallen on a bullet - The Simpsons

It's a fashion risk but I like it

What is the national language of the United States? - Third grade english

The Calzones betrayed me

I'm dying

You're basic

Deja Poo

I only have time for coffee - Twin Peaks

Cigarette? - Yes, I know

I love inside jokes - Love to be a part of one someday - The Office

I thrive off negativity

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

Look at me - I'm captain now

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

I'm ok, honest

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

I'm just feel like I'm not being heard

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

I'm not like a boss - I'm the boss - Cat

I'm sickened but curious

Thank you, alcohol

Go buy yourself some more money

I bring you love - Break it's legs - The Simpsons

So you've decided to steal cable

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

Here's a phone - Call somebody who cares - The Simpsons

God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

Silence and Money

I can't believe you came

For real

His problem is he is an asshole

Am I just an asshole? - South Park

I'm not like most girls?

How exciting another closed door

Correct me if I'm wrong - You're wrong

Here's to respecting women

Last name Jazz. First name Hugh - The Simpsons

Thank God it's over - Chief Wiggum

Kiss the best way to shut a girl up

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

[gets shot in spanish]