Life is hard, right? - Wrong! Life is easy! You suck

Whoa that lady swallowed a baby - Dr. Nick Riviera

Die Bart Die

You're a bad habit

49 stars on that flag

Hello 911? How are you?

Sneed's Feed and Seed - Simpsons

Cradle of Filth I presume that's a band - IT Crowd

Correct me if I'm wrong - You're wrong

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Well one of us has to change

Dad do you wear boxers or briefs? - No - The Simpsons

Ernie how do I look? - With your eyes Bert

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Super Nintendo Chalmers

The body doesn't know

Yoga? Isn't that a cult?

Dyslexia for cure found

Oh no if Marge marries Artie I'll never be born - The Simpsons

[gasps in spanish]

I must have like fallen on a bullet

If you're happy and you know it - thats a sin - The Simpsons

A man with dreams needs a woman with vision

For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding "You're making a sence" - Homer Simpson

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

Dildo - The original selfie stick

Look everyone! This is so funny!

Please don't tell anyone how I live - The Simpsons

I got nothing to lose

I don't give a fucker

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

You dumped a porn star? - Friendship over!

I hate when people remember my name - Because then it's like I'm supposed to remember their name

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

Springfield Christian School - Simpsons

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

Silly girl - He doesn't care

My job here is done - But you didn't do anything

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

Take me out of what?

Why can't women parallel park?

People are so fucking annoying

Why do we, as a society, hate old people so much? - Because they're lame - The Office

(japanese pop music plays)

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman

I made me laugh

His problem is he is an asshole

Pippety poppety give me the zoppety

It's a beautiful day

We ought to be partying not fighting

I'm sensitive - Bart Simpson

Be kind to everyone including yourself

U-R-Gay - The Simpsons

You people have been blisters on my taint

Can't they get a pole for that sign? - Simpsons

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

Recognize Missouri - Grampa Simpson

Too many assholes not enough bullets

Wish you were here

[calls sugar daddy]

Get Lost

El Barto is very fucking real

I am so excited I may vomit

What kind of slut are you?

Don't ever call me that - The Simpsons

I'm so happy you're eating again

I can't believe how easy it is to get cigarettes in this country - The Simpsons

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

I'm so happy and not at all jelous

I have to go before I put your head through a wall

You guys from Florida?

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

Men are dirt!

Please don't throw garbage at me - The Office

Jim tell him where he can stick his grapes

It's a great day for being sad

Stop dating my mother - The Office

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

TGIF

Don't even care

I want to destroy the white devil

Talk means trouble - Don't talk

I relish your wit

I'm not mature enough for this

[graduates in Spanish]

Deja Poo

gets shot in spanish

No Soliciting

God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

I'm this close to loosing my shit

Small breasts should be called petits

The Calzones betrayed me

I can't believe you came

I'm just feel like I'm not being heard

You don't call retarded people retards it's a bad taste - You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded - The Office

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

By the way I faked every orgasm