Do wasps make honey?

They could deep-fry my shirt - The Simpsons

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

I'm multi slacking today

Hey I cook! - Offering people gum is not cooking

Dishes! We meet again you dirty bastards!

Ernest goes somewhere cheap - Simpsons

Someone's gonna end up crying. Probably me.

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

Pizza dammit! Get pizza!

What position is this? - The American Taxpayer - The Simpsons

How the fuck can a peanut kill someone, it's not even a person

This is so 1991 - The Simpsons

What is the national language of the United States? - Third grade english

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

Parent teacher night - Let's share the blame - Simpsons

I hate my life - Fry

No I cannot kill you today I have pilates

My ideal girl is a female who is interested in men

But I want to hurt people, not animals

49 stars on that flag

[screams internally]

What were you so sad about?

Too many assholes not enough bullets

I can't believe how easy it is to get cigarettes in this country - The Simpsons

Get me a vodka rocks - Arrested Development

Model UN - Simpsons

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

I have an art blog

A little saucy, A little too saucy

Working on a Saturday

Poop my pants - The Office

You're too easily offended - I can't believe you just said that

Why can't I marry this pie?

Saying Goodbye Is The Most Painful Way Of Solving A Problem

You familiar with that face?

Seems, I'm full of rage

I'm ok, honest

Would a coward have this?

Saw Inception or at least I dreamt I did - The Office

I'm dying

This is just smoke and ash - Simpsons

They hate us cause they ain't us

Do not touch WIlly - The Simpsons

Look at me - I'm captain now

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

Erections today - Simpsons

Realize how blessed you are

Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein - The Simpsons

High as a kite

Ross: You are both so lucky

You respect dibs don't you?

We're old enough to smell bad

Everybody's getting some but me

Why can't women parallel park?

I only have time for coffee - Twin Peaks

a cup of galaxy

You people have been blisters on my taint

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

[doesn't give a single fuck about your opinion in spanish]

You don't call retarded people retards it's a bad taste - You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded - The Office

I did it to be amazing

Happy Birthday to me - Simpsons

Would I rather be feared or loved?

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

I thrive off negativity

For real

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

Sometimes all you need is 500 million dollars

I need a hug...e bottle of wine

Love is caring for each other even when you're angry

Am I perfect? - Yes I am

Rich Bitch - Homer Simpson

Marketing - Homer Simpson

I'm not mature enough for this

Unisex - Joey Tribbiani

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

You alone? Almost always - Arrested Development

[chuckles uncomfortably]

So you've decided to steal cable

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

Tear the bitch apart

We have unlimited juice?

Machine Gun Fire Like Laugher

If you want to be happy - Don't think

Silence is sometimes the best answer

More that broken, he's alone

A man's gotta eat - Trailer Park Boys

I already won the lottery - I was born in the USA

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

Oh no if Marge marries Artie I'll never be born - The Simpsons

Men are dirt!

Pool Sharks - Simpsons

She was a lawyer he was a sandwich

Every day is like Halloween

I can fix that

Be inspired - Be inspiring

I've destroyed my life

Summer is awful

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman