Some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing

I don't give a fucker

Working on a Saturday

OK less gay

These girls belong to me

Stop dating my mother

My boss told me to have a good day so I went home

Miley, what's good?

Small breasts should be called petits

I know you can read my thoughts, boy - Meow meow meow - The Simpsons

I've had it with you

Doctor Ross Geller

Sometimes I need to be alone with my music

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

Nothing to wear

Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic - The Simpsons

In the end being lazy at home is the best

Recognize Missouri - Grampa Simpson

[judges you in Spanish]

Wow we really are bitches

Please don't speak to me while I'm not listening

El Barto is very fucking real

Bonjour Bitch

People who use a lot of swear words

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

I see basic bitches

I haven't eated since the last time I eated

Do you have to be so white all the time?

How the fuck can a peanut kill someone, it's not even a person

Being an adult is terrible

Sitting in a tree

u smell like dog poo

It's a fashion risk but I like it

Hillary's husband

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

I have no words to describe this day

Funny Dog To Make Life Worthwhile - Simpsons

I hate when people remember my name - Because then it's like I'm supposed to remember their name

Who is Homer? - My name is Guy Incognito - The Simpsons

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

I made me laugh

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

I was born in the wrong generation

Morningwood Penitentiary - Simpsons

I love quotes

It's a great day for being sad

91% of all traffic accidents - Simpsons

How exciting another closed door

I'm a good noodle

People say "money doesn't grow on trees"

Do not read the next sentence

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me - The Office

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

Europe puts Greece on ebay

I completely agree with myself

You have homosexual hair

I bring you love - Break it's legs - The Simpsons

A little saucy, A little too saucy

No I cannot kill you today I have pilates

Why do we, as a society, hate old people so much? - Because they're lame - The Office

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

I feel very welcome here

My cat was right about you

I'm not a slut but who knows?

You're like a blackjack dealer at the flavor town casino

[thinks of daddy in Spanish]

When a pregnant woman swims she is a human submarine

[ignores you in Spanish]

One, two, three - The Office

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink

What would you like bitch? - Paris Hilton

That is so gay - The Simpsons

I don't think I feel well

Why can't women parallel park?

I love inside jokes - Love to be a part of one someday - The Office

This is the lake - The Office

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

The worst day of your life so far - Simpsons

In Real Life There Is No Algebra

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Get rich or drunk trying

What kind of slut are you?

Whoa that lady swallowed a baby - Dr. Nick Riviera

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

I want world peace and bigger boobs - Phoebe

Silence and Money

[chuckles uncomfortably]

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

Summer is awful

[gasps in spanish]

This is just smoke and ash - Simpsons

I just really wanna be fucked

I'm tired of this bullshit - Lisa Simpson

I miss my pre-internet brain

I wanna go back in mommy - Ralph Wiggum

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

I wish I could be a cat

Can't they get a pole for that sign? - Simpsons