Everyone sucks but me

I've tried hitting it - I've tried yelling at it - The Simpsons

I'm dying

Defference between puppet and muppet

The worst day of your life so far - Simpsons

Every day is like Halloween

Poop backwards is poop

Polish Hip Hop Playing

Small breasts should be called petits

Wow we really are bitches

They hate us cause they ain't us

Please don't tell anyone how I live - The SImpsons

Jim, I'm not easy to manage

The center of a donut is 100% fat free

The sea was angry that day my friends - Seinfeld

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

Now I have to face stupid reality again - Simpsons

And I will try to fix you

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

I love quotes

Hey I cook! - Offering people gum is not cooking

What is the national language of the United States? - Third grade english

I'm sorry we don't have your sheep

Springfield little league park - Simpsons

Messy top, tidy bottom

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

[graduates in Spanish]

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

Someone will die - Of fun

(speaking penguinese)

Mom and Pop hardware - Simpsons

High as a kite

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

I completely agree with myself

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

I'm not indecisive - I just can't decide

My cat was right about you

This isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it? - The Simpsons

Sometimes I have inside jokes with myself

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

Well one of us has to change

Me overweight mom dresses too sexy

Die Bart Die

I love inside jokes - Love to be a part of one someday - The Office

Get me a vodka rocks - Arrested Development

This is so 1991 - The Simpsons

IDGAF - I don't give away food

I'm not punk bitch

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

This is the lake - The Office

We're all homos - Homo sapiens - The Office

Love is caring for each other even when you're angry

Last name Jass, first name Hugh - Simspsons

Marge it's 3 am, shouldn't you be baking - The Simpsons

i'm going to kill that whore

Your tears say more than real evidence ever could

Sneed's Feed and Seed - Simpsons

I wanna go back in mommy - Ralph Wiggum

I have no words to describe this day

Fuck Your Guns

First I drink the coffee then I do the things

Cheers

Summer is awful

OK less gay

Metaphors? I hate metaphors

Start with a compliment

Hillary's husband

I made me laugh

By the way I faked every orgasm

Don't ever call me that - The Simpsons

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Saying Goodbye Is The Most Painful Way Of Solving A Problem

I only logged on Facebook today to see who is driving the drama bus

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

How do you make a pact with the Devil?

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

What is it asshole day?

If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job

Your boobs are dead

I can't believe how easy it is to get cigarettes in this country - The Simpsons

I haven't eated since the last time I eated

Oh no if Marge marries Artie I'll never be born - The Simpsons

Come on Scully it'll be a nice trip to the forest

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

Here's a phone - Call somebody who cares - The Simpsons

[kills you in Spanish]

Regret

El Barto - El Homo

Wow we really are bitches

I am so excited I may vomit

Be cool

I fucking trusted you

[thinks of daddy in Spanish]

You're too easily offended - I can't believe you just said that

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

Pants? You mean leg prisons

Springfield Christian School - Simpsons

Ralph you're not a kangaroo

Sad Girls Club

These girls belong to me