Dreams don't work unless you do

Talk means trouble - Don't talk

Small breasts should be called petits

People say "money doesn't grow on trees"

You underestimate my power

Get Lost

God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

Everybody's getting some but me

Erections today - Simpsons

For real

Is there life after birth?

I hate you!

I can fix that

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

High as a kite

Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent

I was born in the wrong generation

Find Balance

[thinks of daddy in Spanish]

Fight the power - Simpsons

Jolly Gummibears

I was normal three cats ago

Am I perfect? - Yes I am

Sometimes I have inside jokes with myself

All I know how to do is take off my clothes

Can't they get a pole for that sign? - Simpsons

Don't ever call me that - The Simpsons

If you fall - I'll be there - Floor

Sad Girls Club

Can't you just kind of fuck off?

Walking sucks

Elephant Child Born

People who use a lot of swear words

To poor decisions - The Simpsons

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

Child Psychiatrist - Simpsons

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

I see basic bitches

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

If you're happy and you know it - thats a sin - The Simpsons

Scissor me - The Office

I like being alone too much

u smell like dog poo

I already won the lottery - I was born in the USA

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

And I will try to fix you

[screams internally]

I've tried hitting it - I've tried yelling at it - The Simpsons

So you've decided to steal cable

I love a good nap

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

I miss my pre-internet brain

I'm so happy you're eating again

Plastic surgery center - Simpsons

Where did you learn all of this? - Internet

Please don't tell anyone how I live - The Simpsons

My job here is done - But you didn't do anything

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

Deja Poo

His problem is he is an asshole

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

I made me laugh

You have homosexual hair

Fuck distance

Who says the nights are for sleeping?

What position is this? - The American Taxpayer - The Simpsons

I only logged on Facebook today to see who is driving the drama bus

I want to destroy the white devil

My fear is that PMS doesn't exist

I'm not mature enough for this

It's a great day for being sad

200 channels and nothing but cats

I always carry knife in my purse in case of cheesecake

This isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it? - The Simpsons

My anxieties have anxieties

I am the mack daddy

(speaking penguinese)

Every time a couple gets married two single people die

So it was you who made the floor slippery

[sobbing mathematically]

It's a beautiful day

You-are-gay - Uruguay - Homer Simpson

Silence is better than bullshit

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

Stop dating my mother - The Office

I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight - The Big Bang Theory

Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein - The Simpsons

I want world peace and bigger boobs - Phoebe

Bonjour Bitch

Live each day like it was your last - The Simpsons

Super Nintendo Chalmers

Life is hard, right? - Wrong! Life is easy! You suck

I'm not like most girls?

I love you to, Daddy

Silence is sometimes the best answer

All artists tend to be a bit weird

Bitch who asked you? - A bitch who didn't asked you

We're all homos - Homo sapiens - The Office

I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life - Flanders

I'm a sign not a cop - Simpsons