Take me out of what?

I hate other people's love - Homer Simpson

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

You been drinking drugs?

[regrets prior life choices]

How often have you drove past a fire and thought "how can this benefit me?"

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

That sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more than you

Metaphors? I hate metaphors

Before calling me ask yourself - Is this textable?

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

Look at me - I'm captain now

Some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing

IDGAF = I don't give away food

Why would religions lie? What would they have to gain? - The Simpsons

Can't they get a pole for that sign? - Simpsons

Me overweight mom dresses too sexy

Stay back, slut

Start with a compliment

What was it Shakespeare said? - He said a lot of things Jeremy

I'm saving my virginity for divorce

My anxieties have anxieties

Wow we really are bitches

Why can't women parallel park?

She was a lawyer he was a sandwich

You-are-gay - Uruguay - Homer Simpson

I consider myself a professional masturbator

For real

Party Hardy it's Friday

Silly girl - He doesn't care

One, two, three - The Office

[chuckles uncomfortably]

Dishes! We meet again you dirty bastards!

God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

All artists tend to be a bit weird

Straight Outta Shape

No Soliciting

u smell like dog poo

Do you have to be so white all the time?

Small breasts should be called petits

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

It's a great day for being sad

You're basic

Run DOS Run - The Simpsons

People are so fucking annoying

[gets shot in spanish]

You kissed a girl - That is so gay - The SImpsons

Drinks milk angrily

We're not only proud about that, we're smug about it

[calls sugar daddy]

I just really wanna be fucked

Hello 911? How are you?

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

Thank you, alcohol

After eating all day I could use some food

I'm not punk bitch

I only have time for coffee - Twin Peaks

Do wasps make honey?

Am I out of touch? - Skinner

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

What is the national language of the United States? - Third grade english

When a pregnant woman swims she is a human submarine

You underestimate my power

To poor decisions - The Simpsons

[judges you in Spanish]

Child Psychiatrist - Simpsons

Seems, I'm full of rage

Chill, Homie. You need to let that shit go - Buddha

Are you trying to seduce me?

Meow

Defference between puppet and muppet

What kind of slut are you?

They hate us cause they ain't us

TGIF

Last name Jass, first name Hugh - Simspsons

Follow your dreams - Doge

It's called satchel - Indiana Jones wears one

Silence and Money

I always carry knife in my purse in case of cheesecake

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me - The Office

Listen and Believe

Gay Interest - The Simpsons

You don't call retard people retard - Michael Scott

(japanese pop music plays)

At least you tried - The Simpsons

You're like a blackjack dealer at the flavor town casino

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

Every time a couple gets married two single people die

Poop backwards is poop

This is so 1991 - The Simpsons

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

I'm sorry we don't have your sheep

I hate the public so much - Homer Simpson

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

This is the lake - The Office

Why must I be so voluptuous? - The Simpsons

When a pregnant woman swims she is a human submarine

Funny Dog To Make Life Worthwhile - Simpsons

Thinking isn't going to get us anywhere

I'm so happy and not at all jelous