I like the cut of your jib - Simpsons

By the way I faked every orgasm

[screams internally]

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

A little saucy, A little too saucy

Who will love you? Who will fight?

I am not nice

I have an art blog

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

I can't believe you came

I did it to be amazing

All I know how to do is take off my clothes

Mom and Pop hardware - Simpsons

A UFO party

Jim tell him where he can stick his grapes

Everyone sucks but me

Follow your dreams - Doge

Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein - The Simpsons

I am the mack daddy

Now entering Winnipeg

Stop dating my mother - The Office

200 channels and nothing but cats

Sometimes all you need is 500 million dollars

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic - The Simpsons

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

Look at me - I'm captain now

Cradle of Filth I presume that's a band - IT Crowd

I made me laugh

I can't believe how easy it is to get cigarettes in this country - The Simpsons

Scissor me - The Office

I completely agree with myself

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common

I bring you love - Break it's legs - The Simpsons

I'm sickened but curious

You been drinking drugs?

I just had the most beautiful dream where I died - Apu

Twinkle twinkle little star point me to the nearest bar

I heard that, you bitch

Could you speak up? I'm not wearing pants

Congratulations universe you win - The Office

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

She was a lawyer he was a sandwich

I'm sensitive - Bart Simpson

All artists tend to be a bit weird

[gets shot in spanish]

You familiar with that face?

To start press any key - The Simpsons

[softly] Don't - Michael Scott (The Office)

This is the lake - The Office

Life is hard, right? - Wrong! Life is easy! You suck

Pippety poppety give me the zoppety

Live each day like it was your last - The Simpsons

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

Thank you, alcohol

You're basic

Hooked on a feline - Simpsons

Drinks milk angrily

It's like a sauna in here

Oh my gosh! Look! It's food!

People what a bunch of bastards

I noticed you're wearing open-toed shoes - Since when did you become a whore? - Dwight Schrute

I hate other people's love - Homer Simpson

You can't have any fun in bed - The Simpsons

I've destroyed my life

I want to destroy the white devil

I'm so happy and not at all jelous

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

Sometimes I need to be alone with my music

In the end being lazy at home is the best

It's a beautiful day

Polish Hip Hop Playing

Kids! They grow up so fast, they move out so slow

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

Too many assholes not enough bullets

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

It's actually whipped cocaine

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

Take me out of what?

Yoga? Isn't that a cult?

Ross doing his "watching tv"

Everybody's getting some but me

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

[chuckles uncomfortably]

I'm not a slut but who knows?

I'm multi slacking today

[regrets prior life choices]

Miley, what's good?

Oh my God he's online. Can he see me?

Erections today - Simpsons

Would I rather be feared or loved?

u smell like dog poo

I wonder if the dog thought about us while we're gone

I'm sorry we don't have your sheep

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

I'm this close to loosing my shit

If you fall - I'll be there - Floor

Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent