God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

I've made a huge mistake

Natural light! Get it off me! - The Simpsons

Justin - Zach interview

I just had the most beautiful dream where I died - Apu

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

If you want to be happy - Don't think

Silence is better than bullshit

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

[ignores you in Spanish]

Dad do you wear boxers or briefs? - No - The Simpsons

Recognize Missouri - Grampa Simpson

God thanks for nothing - Bart Simpson

The center of a donut is 100% fat free

[calls sugar daddy]

I relish your wit

I'm this close to loosing my shit

What would you like bitch? - Paris Hilton

My plan was to marry rich and then stop working

I just really wanna be fucked

Pippety poppety give me the zoppety

I have to go before I put your head through a wall

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

I noticed you're wearing open-toed shoes - Since when did you become a whore? - Dwight Schrute

Gay Interest - The Simpsons

If you're happy and you know it - thats a sin - The Simpsons

Last name Jass, first name Hugh - Simspsons

Die Bart Die

Thank God it's over - Chief Wiggum

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

Melon Collie - The Simpsons

Stop dating my mother - The Office

Straight Outta Shape

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

Elephant Child Born

Purple stuff inside donut is a fruit - The Simpsons

Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving? - We did, Once.

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

Been there regretted that

Correct me if I'm wrong - You're wrong

You people have been blisters on my taint

You can't have any fun in bed - The Simpsons

I'm so happy you're eating again

Regret

Men are like plants

I don't give a fucker

I'm still cold - Abe Simpson

My boss told me to have a good day so I went home

I'm not ashamed of my body - That's the problem

Oh no if Marge marries Artie I'll never be born - The Simpsons

I can't stand the sound of the human voice

TGIF

I am so excited I may vomit

Look look everyone! This is so funny!

Chill, Homie. You need to let that shit go - Buddha

I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God - Homer Simpson

Last name Jazz. First name Hugh - The Simpsons

I am an outsider in all of my personal relationships

Why must I be so voluptuous? - The Simpsons

I've tried hitting it - I've tried yelling at it - The Simpsons

El Barto - El Homo

i'm always one step ahead like carpenter that makes stairs

These girls belong to me

[screams internally]

You alone? Almost always - Arrested Development

You underestimate my power

Here's to respecting women

Please don't throw garbage at me - The Office

Realize how blessed you are

I already won the lottery - I was born in the USA

Don't ever call me that - The Simpsons

[gets shot in spanish]

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

People what a bunch of bastards

Some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing

Working on a Saturday

I finally bought myself a Plasma TV

Your art was the prettiest art of all the art

So far so good sorta

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

You guys from Florida?

You're the judge - No I'm a bowl of fruit

Everyone sucks but me

And I will try to fix you

El Barto is very fucking real

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere

Local Man Thinks Wrestling is Real

Please don't speak to me while I'm not listening

I like being alone too much

High as a kite

I have no words to describe this day

Why can't women parallel park?

Every day is like Halloween

Fuck Your Guns

To poor decisions - The Simpsons

By the way I faked every orgasm

Take me out of what?

Stoner's Pot Palace - Simpsons

Wish you were here

No I cannot kill you today I have pilates