Her name is The Barefoot Contessa

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman

What would you like bitch? - Paris Hilton

People say "money doesn't grow on trees"

I must have like fallen on a bullet - The Simpsons

I love a good nap

I love you to, Daddy

Love is caring for each other even when you're angry

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

Mom and Pop hardware - Simpsons

I must have like fallen on a bullet

Find Balance

Wow we really are bitches

At least you tried - The Simpsons

This is the lake - The Office

Working on a Saturday

I'm not punk bitch

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Why must I be so voluptuous? - The Simpsons

Follow your dreams - Doge

Hillary's husband

I just really wanna be fucked

I can't stand the sound of the human voice

We have unlimited juice?

Whoa that lady swallowed a baby - Dr. Nick Riviera

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

Why can't I marry this pie?

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

How often have you drove past a fire and thought "how can this benefit me?"

Please kindly go away I'm introverting

Stinking fish realty - Simpsons

Go buy yourself some more money

I have an art blog

Fuck Normality

91% of all traffic accidents - Simpsons

We ought to be partying not fighting

Why can't I solve this problem God? - Flanders

Erections today - Simpsons

Polish Hip Hop Playing

If you want to be happy - Don't think

To heal the wound you must stop touching it

I don't like you I just want to have sex with you

Could you speak up? I'm not wearing pants

[screams internally]

Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein - The Simpsons

Correct me if I'm wrong - You're wrong

Straight Outta Shape

Ernie how do I look? - With your eyes Bert

So some penguins turn to a life of crime

a cup of galaxy

I don't feel right - Ralph Wiggum

Fight the power - Simpsons

I feel very welcome here

Would I rather be feared or loved?

i'm going to kill that whore

Funny Dog To Make Life Worthwhile - Simpsons

[stares in japanese]

Sad Girls Club

I can't read suddenly - I don't know

Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop

Been there regretted that

I did it to be amazing

I'm not indecisive - I just can't decide

Now I have to face stupid reality again - Simpsons

You people have been blisters on my taint

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Can I have permission to say "Hell Yeah"?

But my mom says I'm cool - Milhouse Van Houten - The Simpsons

Because I have a masters degree in fierce

Messy top, tidy bottom

In the end being lazy at home is the best

Why would you do that? - Ross

Is there life after birth?

Loud full-hearted bitching

Morningwood Penitentiary - Simpsons

Pika Pika - Pikachu

Marge it's 3am shouldn't you be baking? - The SImpsons

My job here is done - But you didn't do anything

His problem is he is an asshole

No Soliciting

I'm a good noodle

Am I just an asshole? - South Park

I don't do well in situations

Unflattering test results

Springfield Sperm Bank - Simpsons

Reverend Lovejoy pizza delivery

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

It's a great day for being sad

High as a kite

Before calling me ask yourself - Is this textable?

Summer is awful

You have homosexual hair

Everyone sucks but me

I relish your wit

[kills you in Spanish]

Drug-addled candor - Sheldon

Bort Simpson

My boss told me to have a good day so I went home

hey potato chips come out I want to eat you

The first thing you need to know is that the Intenet is amazing

Springfield Psychiatric Center