She was a lawyer he was a sandwich

Saying Goodbye Is The Most Painful Way Of Solving A Problem

Before calling me ask yourself - Is this textable?

Be inspired - Be inspiring

For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding "You're making a sence" - Homer Simpson

Look everyone! This is so funny!

I'm just normal functioning member of the human race

I told her the only thing

Hey I cook! - Offering people gum is not cooking

Laughing - Crying

Life is like math

Put the mind control into the country music

Yoga? Isn't that a cult?

Sometimes all you need is 500 million dollars

I am the mack daddy

I've destroyed my life

You kissed a girl - That is so gay - The SImpsons

Dyslexia for cure found

Seriously all you do is bitch

I don't think I feel well

Correct me if I'm wrong - You're wrong

(japanese pop music plays)

Deja Poo

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

Rakes my old arch-enemy

El Barto - El Homo

The best view comes after the hardest climb

u smell like dog poo

They hate us cause they ain't us

Polish Hip Hop Playing

El Barto - El Homo - The Simpsons

I can't stand the sound of the human voice

You dumped a porn star? - Friendship over!

Scissor me - The Office

Camera phone - Autograph of 21th century

I sing way too much for someone who can't sing

If you're thinking what I'm thinking you need professional help

Pizza dammit! Get pizza!

I completely agree with myself

I'm sickened but curious

Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom

I hate men but I'm not a lesbian

Being an adult is terrible

Everybody's getting some but me

I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight - The Big Bang Theory

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere

We're all homos - Homo sapiens - The Office

Silence and Money

I wish I could be a cat

I'll be back - Judge Dredd

Doctor Ross Geller

This isn't my daddy this is my father

Thinking isn't going to get us anywhere

Hillary's husband

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim

Tear the bitch apart

Too sad to walk - Homer Simpson

Sneed's Feed and Seed - Simpsons

Every time a couple gets married two single people die

I don't give a fucker

A little saucy, A little too saucy

My Diabolical Plan - Dwight Schrute

Start with a compliment

You're like a blackjack dealer at the flavor town casino

IDGAF = I don't give away food

Ross doing his "watching tv"

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

I'm not anti-social - I'm anti-idiot

You're the judge - No I'm a bowl of fruit

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy - Simpsons

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

I have an art blog

Why must I be so voluptuous? - The Simpsons

Working on a Saturday

Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop

[calls sugar daddy]

I wanna go back in mommy - Ralph Wiggum

Bort Simpson

Chicken Nuggets is like my family

Go buy yourself some more money

Here's a job I can do - Police seek third gunman

You alone? Almost always - Arrested Development

Ernest goes somewhere cheap - Simpsons

Sometimes I need to be alone with my music

Try not to be a cunt - The Buddha

Loud full-hearted bitching

Jim tell him where he can stick his grapes

What you read it's true - I'm a bitch

Small breasts should be called petits

Local Man Thinks Wrestling is Real

I'm sick of trying to be perfect

Owning your okayness - The Simpsons

You look very rich in that - Thanks

I'm gonna go talk to some food about this

I'm tired of this bullshit - Lisa Simpson

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Springfield Christian School - Simpsons

I'm not ashamed of my body - That's the problem

Starbucks - Simpsons