Drink Your Problems Away

Someone's gonna end up crying. Probably me.

Please don't speak to me while I'm not listening

I'm a level 5 vegan - I won't eat anything that casts a shadow - The Simpsons

I'm not anti-social - I'm anti-idiot

What the hell was that? - Krusty the Clown

Your boobs are dead

Ernie how do I look? - With your eyes Bert

[thinks of daddy in Spanish]

Be inspired - Be inspiring

We're not only proud about that, we're smug about it

At least you tried - The Simpsons

I don't do well in situations

Jolly Gummibears

Erections today - Simpsons

No, thats just what they'll be expecting us to do

I am so angry

For real

Look at me - I'm captain now

Fuck Normality

Melon Collie - The Simpsons

I'm actually not funny - I'm just mean and people think I'm joking

I'm alone and I love it

Can't you just kind of fuck off?

I wish I could be a cat

That is so gay - The Simpsons

I'm not like most girls?

So you've decided to steal cable

Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common

Didn't you read Lords of the ring in high school?

Get Lost

Doctor Ross Geller

This isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it? - The Simpsons

Springfield Psychiatric Center

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink

Polish Hip Hop Playing

They hate us cause they ain't us

It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays

I'm a good noodle

(japanese pop music plays)

Oh my God he's online. Can he see me?

Silly girl - He doesn't care

Sometimes I have inside jokes with myself

Listen and Believe

U2 moving crew - Simpsons

Deja Poo

I was normal three cats ago

Bonjour Bitch

What position is this? - The American Taxpayer - The Simpsons

I so need lessons from you on how to be cool

[sobbing mathematically]

This is the lake - The Office

Don't look at me

A man's gotta eat - Trailer Park Boys

Someone will die - Of fun

I should not have poured wine in my cereal this morning

These girls belong to me

[onlookers booing]

I like the cut of your jib - Simpsons

U-R-Gay - The Simpsons

It's like a sauna in here

You have homosexual hair

I'm a locksmith

Sir, you're making a scene - Homer Simpson

Need motivation to lose weight? - Just eat in front of mirror naked

I'm married - I can wear whatever I want

God took me into his hands and says yo Kanye

I always carry knife in my purse in case of cheesecake

Get rich or drunk trying

You look very rich in that - Thanks

Happiness - Intelligence - Lisa Simpson

If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job

I am so excited I may vomit

Give me a million dollars or I'll bash you - The Simpsons

I hope everyone loves my blog this week

I must have like fallen on a bullet - The Simpsons

You dumped a porn star? - Friendship over!

Pika Pika - Pikachu

[calls sugar daddy]

I love a good nap

Parent teacher night - Let's share the blame - Simpsons

Jim, I'm not easy to manage

[ignores you in Spanish]

Men are like plants

Defference between puppet and muppet

Silence is better that bullshit

Every day is like Halloween

It's called satchel - Indiana Jones wears one

Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop

When we don't know who to hate we hate ourselves

Scissor me - The Office

Wifi, coffee, my bed - Perfection

Gay Interest - The Simpsons

I'm sensitive - Bart Simpson

Oh my god! It's a flip phone!

Johnny Tightlips - The Simpsons

I'm gonna go talk to some food about this

I'll be back - Judge Dredd

I am the mack daddy

Before calling me ask yourself - Is this textable?

Model UN - Simpsons